Somebody

Somebody’s been lying to you.

They told you that you were different,

And that you’re different made you less,

And that you’re less made you a useless mess.

Somebody’s been lying to you.

They told you no one could love you.

That everyone else is normal and above you.

Which led to you undervaluing you.

Somebody’s been lying to you.

They told you to apologize for who you are,

Because who you are isn’t quite right enough.

And that maybe if you fight enough,

One day you might just be worthy of acceptance and validation.

Somebody’s been lying to you.

Making you feel like you don’t belong.

Making you feel like your life is all wrong.

Making you feel like you’re weak when you are obviously so strong.

Guess who’s been lying to you?

Who’s been making tears well up in your eyes?

And telling you all kinds of lies?

About the value you bring to this life?

YOU have been lying to you.

You tried lying to me to.

But I’m not buying what you’re selling.

In fact from the rooftops I’m yelling…

“YOU IS KIND.

YOU IS SMART

YOU IS IMPORTANT.”

So stop lying to you

Because no matter how often you do.

The lies you tell yourself…

WILL NEVER BE TRUE!

I Can’t…

I can’t understand why you find it hard to believe that someone like me could be better than you.

I can’t understand why you think the kink of my hair means it’s impossible for someone like me to do the job that you do.

I can’t understand how you think it’s okay to snicker, point fingers and jeer as I walk by.

I can’t understand why you can’t understand that your ignorance doesn’t make me moan, groan or sigh.

You can’t understand how I could love myself – strong, black and beautiful as can be.

You can’t understand that instead of poking fun you should be trying to surround yourself with people like me.

You can’t understand the breadth of my knowledge, the depth of my heart and the span of my will.

You can’t understand why you can’t break me down and why my dreams you will never be able to kill.

I can’t understand why you waste your time making me to center point of your disdain.

I can’t understand why you have yet to learn that you don’t phase me and you’re wasting time all in vain.

I can’t entertain your level of thought and  your ignorance is something I cannot reduce myself to understand.

You can’t understand how I rise above, continue to climb all while living authentically.

It doesn’t matter if you can’t understand it because I can.

Statistically Speaking

8477760666_79f8293e40I must inform you that I am a statistic. Not the “whoa is me” statistic.  Rather, that “look at me now” statistic.

See choices were made that started out bad or unwise. But subsequent choices led me to such an amazing and better life.

You don’t have to understand how I could be so positive at this stage. To just be gaining my freedom at such a “late” age.

After having parented kids from my teens, thru the fun twenties and into  my late thirties.But my redirected path saved my life. It helped and never hurt me.

For life can teach you lessons if you open up your eyes and allow them to see. I allowed myself to experience such lessons so my girls could do better than me.

So yes, I missed out on the parties and living a wild and free life. Yes, I traded in my so-called freedom, instead choosing to be a mother and wife.

Looking back on it all,  I have no regrets, no reason to sigh or moan. Because my life has been full, memories plentiful and my house is truly a home.

So no, I don’t envy those who chose a different path. We are all statistics. It’s just a matter of how you do your math.

For me one plus one equals love, happiness and a family of four. What started out as a statistic has turned into so much  more.

Statistically speaking, I am a success story.

Broken

8091480155_da2eef709e

Each morning I wake up resolved to smile.

While you remain content to frown.

Denying all the goodness of life.

While I bask in the beauty all around.

Each day I count all my blessings.

Not the worries I cannot control.

Each day you anticipate bad things.

You never see your glass as half full.

Each day I try to make new memories.

Yet each day you refuse to forget.

Things that happened in our history.

Because you’re not ready to let go of them yet.

You have broken your heart in to pieces.

Trying to hold on to the pain.

Trying to stop life and time.

But your efforts are futile and all in vain.

As much as it pains me to see you hurt.

As hard as it is to just let you be.

I’ve come to accept that you are broken.

And I refuse to let you break me.

Choosing Me

For years I have neglected myself.

Putting the needs of others farther ahead in life’s race.

Lying to myself, believing that it was the right thing to do.

All the while struggling to keep up the pace.

The pace of caring deeply for others.

Hoping to receive some care in return.

Holding my hands out for someone to pull me up.

Only to play with the fire of others ill intentions which left me burned.

You teach others how to treat you they say.

But what about do unto to others as you would have them do to you.

Trying to take the high road and treat others with the utmost respect,

Has always been my view.

But as the years have moved on and the struggles increase.

Others continue to weigh me down.

No longer am I covered in smiles,

Rather I am stuck with a somewhat permanent frown.

But I have no one but myself to blame,

Because I have neglected the one person in the world who loves me best.

I have made it okay to use me up.

How can I expect them to give me more when I give me less?

Choices have to be made about who takes first place.

About who I make a definitive priority.

My condolences to those who are going to get left behind.

But today I am choosing me.